Sad my baby is Turning 1

I remember Googling “I’m sad my baby is turning 1”.

I remember sitting there at 3am, awake, worrying. His birthday was looming and I was awash with this horrible mix of sadness and guilt.

Sadness that my baby, my tiny George was turning 1, and guilt that I felt sad he was turning 1.

People say parenting is complex, but sheesh no one prepared me for this.

You see I had enjoyed every milestone, I loved seeing him learn and yet there was this sadness.

It was as though I was mouring the loss of the last stage that had passed.

And this 1st birthday that was looming marked the end of all of those beautiful baby stages.

My little wiggly newborn, the chubby baby, the way he’d roll over & clutch at his soft squashy feet, as he started to crawl and would rock on hands and knees, when he’d discovered clapping and the smile that filled his face when his tiny hands met.

And what’s crazier is that I knew what was coming. George is my second son, so this whole thing should have been a breeze. Yet somehow it was so much harder with my second.

But I had forgotten. I’d forgotten that for every new, amazing stage to begin, the last one had to end.

So rather than being sad that a stage was finished, I needed to cherish the memories and relish in the excitement of what was to come.

Looking at my little one year old in complete awe.

Babbling, crawling, tentatively standing and reaching for my hand.

He would always be my baby and I was so, so lucky to be able to see him grow into the incredible, cheeky little toddler I adore.

So here’s to 1st birthdays.

May we shed a little tear, but have a massive cheer.

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